Love is love, no matter what you call it…
In the September issue of The Advocate, Younger star Nico Tortorella — who came out as sexually fluid in 2016 — gets real about his 11-year relationship with Bethany Meyers, who identifies as gay.
Ever since they began dating, the actor and the fitness entrepreneur were hesitant to use labels to define their union. In fact, they don’t call each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”; they are “family,” even though they “bring other people” into their sex lives.
Photo: Hilary Duff Posts A Pic On Nico’s Lap!
While the idea of a polyamorous arrangement may confuse or shock some people, Bethany simply doesn’t believe in a one-partner solution:
“So many people have this idea that if you can love this, you cannot love this… And I don’t understand, because I do. I can have feelings for two people. There are different kinds of feelings, they fulfill different needs. I don’t find it very realistic to think that I’m going to get everything I need out of Nico.”
While much has been said about Nico’s sexual fluidity, he says it essentially boils down to who and what you love:
“I think the way I use the word fluidity is like fluid in everything, fluid in train of thought; not this, not that; beyond definition. It doesn’t always have to be one thing… The one thing anybody can talk about, no matter race, religion, sexuality or gender, is love. Everyone has some sort of explanation, feeling, memory, backstory, or idea of love. The most magical thing about [his podcast The Love Bomb] has been no matter where you come from in the world, no matter who you’re sleeping with, or who you’re in love with, the last question I always ask is: ‘What is love?’ And for the most part, they all sound exactly the same.”‘
While the two have been together for over a decade, they have different opinions about casual sex. While Meyers believes “sex can be really fun and really empowering,” Tortorella is less open to the idea:
“For me, sex is such an explosive exchange of energy between two people that if you’re not connected, energetically, before you have sex, it can be damaging… If you open yourself up to somebody on that level it can be damaging to yourself and damaging for the other person if there isn’t trust there… That being said, I totally understand people who want to have casual sex. I think what you have to do in this scenario is stay in your lane. Find people who want similar things — physically, energetically, and emotionally. If some dude wants to fuck this girl but she wants to do something else, that can be an issue.”
In fact, the 29-year-old thespian doesn’t believe he’s reached his “sexual prime,” and is eager to explore unknown territory:
“I don’t think I’ve hit my sexual prime at all… As sacred as I look about sexuality, I’m so obsessed and passionate about learning more about sexuality. I’ve been talking about making The Love Bomb into a TV show and what it would be like. Right now, what it looks like is me going into the field and looking at all sorts of different types of sexuality and energy connections with people so I can get a better understanding. I don’t think I know enough, I don’t think I feel enough, and I don’t think the world knows enough of it.”
We applaud Nico and Bethany for their honesty, and we hope this interview sparks further discussion about sexuality and its nuances.
[Image via Luke Fontana/The Advocate.]
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