Britt Nilsson is speaking out.

The Bachelor nation alum may’ve seemed like a dream girl when she appeared on Chris Soules‘ season of the dating competition, but in reality, the brunette stunner was hiding some pretty serious problems. The reality TV starlet — who also competed against Kaitlyn Bristowe for The Bachelorette season 11 lead spot — has recently addressed her past issues with addiction for a series of videos on YouTube.

Related: Jenelle Evans Gets Real About Almost Dying

Per Britt’s admission, the 30-year-old revealed that she’s battled everything from drug and alcohol addiction to bulimia. Apparently, Britt has struggled with binge eating disorder ever since she was young and that condition eventually developed into bulimia while in college.

Nilsson confessed:

“I had a lot of shame, and that just kicked it up. All addictions are pretty related to shame and pain avoidance, in my experience. The years after college were really dark years. I was binging all day, throwing up. I was hiding it because I was so ashamed — I was just mortified with myself. I would spend my days eating food in secret, throwing up in garbage bags in my car, throwing up in dumpsters, throwing up behind bushes, in the shower…This was going on for years. And I didn’t tell anyone because I just thought it was too shameful.”

Sadly, being on The Bachelor caused Britt to relapse as she explained:

“For me, having tons of food everywhere … it just became too much. I had pain and anxiety, I felt insecure, I didn’t feel pretty enough, I didn’t know what was going on, I missed my family.

I was totally terrified that it was going to be caught on a mic and that millions of people were going to know that I just couldn’t control myself. It was really, really hard for me, and it just kept going and going.”

Out of fear that she’d become a plot point, Britt did everything in her power to conceal her eating disorder. She continued:

“You’re mic-ed 24/7. I would take my mic off and try to hide it under towels so they wouldn’t hear me throw up, because then that was going to be on the show and that was going to be a plot line. How horrible would that be, to be the girl who has an eating disorder, who can’t stop eating and throwing up? I mean, I had broken blood vessels. I would throw up until I was bleeding out of my nose. I just couldn’t stop, and that’s kind of been a theme in my life.”

To make matters worse, bulimia was just one of Britt’s many mental health problems as she’s also dealt with alcohol and drug addiction. Soules’ castoff relayed:

“I’m an alcoholic. Meaning not that I was drinking a bottle of wine by myself in the bathtub, or waking up and taking shots, but my personality, for better or worse, is a personality where little is good, all is best, and more, more, more. … That’s just something that I’ve had to navigate throughout my entire life. Alcohol has been part of my life off and on, but whenever it is a part of my life I try to control it and I can’t.

I also was addicted to drugs in college — I used to be addicted to cocaine. I used to smoke weed every single day in college. I would be high giving presentations. I basically didn’t know how to live without drugs.”

Thankfully, Britt is doing much better these days as she hasn’t consumed alcohol in the last year AND has vowed to “never throw up again.” Miz Nilsson also has an incredible support system in her fiancé Jeremy Byrne, whom she credits as the one who helped her get through her eating disorder issues. Awwww.

We honestly couldn’t be prouder of Britt for opening up about such a tough, personal topic. Be sure to watch her first admission video for yourself (below).

[Image via Instagram.]

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Bachelor Alum Britt Nilsson Details How She Battled Bulimia While Starring On The Dating Show